Amy's Story
If you told me when I was a little girl that my life would be the way it is, I would think you were crazy! I mean a little girl might think it’s great that I am 27 and I don’t drink or do any drugs today, but if I told her that I was once an IV heroin addict she would probably be traumatized.
One of my earliest memories is when I was 7 and my dad went to rehab. He said he went to make my life better but at the time it felt like I was being punished. I didn’t want him to leave me. That was when I suffered my first bout of depression. I waited for him to come home every day for what felt like an eternity. Once he did come home my life really was better.
I didn’t fall into another depression again for a really long time. My parents moved me two cities over when I was 13 and I had to change schools. I constantly felt like an outsider at my new school. I had the worst clothes, my face was covered with acne and I had really frizzy hair. I finally found my place with a group of kids who had the same insecurities as I did. We turned to drugs and booze to feel like we belonged to something greater than us.
By the time I got into high school I was somehow able to finagle my way into the “in crowd”. I was a cheerleader and I was friends with all the jocks, but I had a secret life that none of my new friends knew about. My secret life was fueled by my mother’s wine and sleeping pills. I was seriously unhappy at this time but at school I pretended to be happy and perfect. I hid behind a smile, make up and a fake tan.
I went off to college in Boston, still living my double life. By this time I was completely physically and mentally addicted to oxy contin and alcohol. I wouldn’t admit it at the time but now I see that I was. I lived at school from September until February until I got kicked out of housing for breaking the rules way too many times. I tried to continue to be a commuter student but eventually my drug addiction got way too severe and I failed out of school.
I was bartending to drink for free and using the tips to support my $180 a day drug habit. During the day I slept and during the night I partied. I once slept for 24 hours woke up for an hour to get drugs so I wouldn’t be in physical pain and went back to sleep for another 12 hours. I was so miserable that I wanted to sleep for the rest of my life.
Soon it got too expensive to continue taking oxy contin, and I found out that I could get even higher from sniffing heroin. Eventually I went from sniffing heroin to shooting it.
By February 2007 I was completely strung out. I weighed 95 pounds, my skin was grey, the only time I was awake was to do drugs and I wanted to die. Out of desperation I checked into treatment on February 13, 2007. My life completely changed while I was in treatment. I was introduced to yoga through yoga hope. Because of yoga I found true happiness, love and serenity. I have managed to stay sober since February 14, 2007 with the help of yoga and a 12 step program. Now I am a student at yoga hope and I hope to someday teach yoga so I can give to other addicts and homeless people what was so freely given to me, the gift of yoga. I also just finished classes to be a licensed drug and alcohol counselor and currently in school to get a BS in Human Services.
If you told me when I was a little girl that my life would be the way it is I would think you were crazy. It would sound too good to be true and completely amazing. I would think there was no way it could ever be true and think you were lying.
Namaste!
